I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
