You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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