i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
