yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
