Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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