I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
