I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
