Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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