Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

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(317): View more from Indiana

if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

(317): View more from Indiana

all hypothetical of course

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(469): View more from Texas

Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.

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(801): View more from Utah

There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?

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(954): View more from Florida

Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call

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