shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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