ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
