tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
