He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
