I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
