dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
