I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
