everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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