I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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