I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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