Acid is not a monday night drug
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I need a beard to bite.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
