There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize