I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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