My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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