The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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