think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
