Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
