i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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