She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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