i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
