just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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