this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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