I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
