He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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