i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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