Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
