Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She even gives head with a lisp.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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