Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
