Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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