My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it glows. i had to have it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
