I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
