I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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