Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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