You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
