you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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