So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
