Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
