I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
