Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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