I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
