my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
