Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
