TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
