She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
