i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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