This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I believe in your delicious
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
