what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
