So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
