it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
