quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize