Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
